Pet Pee-ve

Pet Pee-ve A guest checked in last night into one room, claims to have found problems in the room, and wanted to be switched. She claims that the room was all dirty and they found someone else’s panties in the room. The afternoon concierge switches them to another room, but they fight with him to get a room with an outside door. They stay the night, bringing in three small dogs with her, despite our hotel not allowing pets. She says that she told the guy last night that they were service dogs. I get in in the morning, knowing none of this, as there is not a note regarding a dog in any of the rooms. But I know there is one somewhere, because a different guest came up to complain about a turd sitting in the hallway all night. I cleaned up the mess; thankfully, it was not soggy or anything, but I don’t know where the dog was. Check out time (11 AM) comes, and the housekeepers report that one room has multiple dogs in it. I put two and two together, so I charge a fee to their card and call them to inform them that they have to leave, because we don’t allow pets. Guest: “Oh, but these are my service dogs, you have to accept them!” Me: “Well, your service dog dropped a turd in our hallway last night, meaning it isn’t trained properly and we are allowed to exclude it.” They take a while and a couple of reminders to leave, but they eventually do, coming up to the front desk for a receipt. At that point, they notice the charge, which was signed for at check-in. Guest: “You can’t charge me extra for my dogs, they’re service animals. You need to take this charge off!” Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, a service animal has to be trained not to bark randomly and not poop where it shouldn’t.” Guest: “You can’t tell me how to deal with my dogs! They’re service dogs!” Me: “Okay, what services do your dogs provide for you?” Guest: “They run around at my feet, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly.” Me: “That isn’t a service. That’s being a dog.” They took my manager’s business card and will probably call corporate, but they left Going into the room afterward revealed that their “well trained service dogs” had started to tear up the edges of the carpeting, which will need to be replaced. When I showed this to my boss: Boss: “Charge them and put them ‘Do Not Rent’.” Already done.